When you are a new mom, absolutely EVERYONE is full of advice. From the lady checking you at at the grocery store to your friend who had her first baby a few months before, people are bombarding you with what you should be reading, or doing to care for your bundle of joy.
And though it is mostly well meaning, it can be incredibly overwhelming. You are reading everything you can and listening to all the advice and you are wondering if you are even capable of all this.
So who do you listen to? What do you do? Answer: You do what’s best for you and your baby.
Revolutionary, right? It certainly can feel that way when several voices claim to have “the right answer” for everyone. And then it turns out “the right answer” doesn’t actually work for you.
SO YOU FEEL LIKE A FAILURE.
But you are not! Truth is: there is no one right answer.
But think about it. Your baby is unique. You are unique. Your situation is not like anyone else’s.
When you add it all up together, it makes sense that there is absolutely no way there is a one size fits all approach to raising babies.
What works like a dream for one person, may be your personal nightmare.
You should definitely research and ask for advice. But then trust yourself to make the best choice for your baby. The only thing you have to do is keep you and your baby happy and healthy. So whatever path that takes just so happens to be the best thing.
You will become the expert on your baby.
From the moment your child is born, you are learning everything about your baby. You are around your baby 24/7. Which is why by about week 2 you are pretty delirious.
As your baby continuously communicates through his body language and cries, you become fluent in your baby. You know what he is saying. From “I’m hungry” to “put me to bed now,” you really do become the expert on your baby.
But you still need guidance. That’s where research and getting trusted advice comes in. Get a solid base of information, and try things out. If something doesn’t feel right, don’t do it!
For example, Dr. Ferber’s book How to Solve Your Child’s Sleep Problems pretty much saved my life.
Sleep deprived and pregnant with my second child, I picked the book up at the recommendation of my pediatrician. Within the first chapter, my mind was blown. I devoured the book, and instituted his method and within a week, my husband and I felt human again and our baby was a happy little delight.
But I know other moms who don’t feel comfortable with sleep training of any sort. That’s great! You have to do what works for you, your philosophy, and your life.
SUPER SIMPLE PARENTING FORMULA:
- Research everything you can. Read the books people recommend. Talk to moms you admire and get their best tips and tricks.
- Then, you do you. No one person has the same set of circumstances or personality as you do. Couple that with your unique and wonderful, never-before-seen baby, and you have a 100% new and unique situation and YOU are the expert. So you do what’s best for you.
Have confidence in yourself, mama.
As a mom, you truly are the expert on your baby. You may feel overwhelmed and inadequate. In fact, I don’t think there is a new mom who doesn’t experience those emotions!
But, trust me, you are the expert on your child. You know when he’s hungry, or tired, or uncomfortable because you have been around him 24/7 his entire life. You are inherently the expert on your baby because you’ve been learning from the moment he was born. So, with some great information, you are most capable of figuring out what is best for your little family.
You’ve got this, mama!